Psychoanalyzing Aella

Aella is a shit eating ho and that's not even the worst part.

She's good at taking pictures, I'll give her that.

I have a bad habit of looking at car crashes. Once, I rubber necked so hard at a white Camry that had flipped over that I rear ended the person in front of me. This is not a metaphor. I had neck pain for six months, which, annoyingly, was only resolved once I caved and went to a chiropractor.

Another bad habit I have is psychoanalyzing niche online microcelebrities. I can't help it, I attended too many classes at a APA approved Psychonanalyst Training Institute™.  My brain autocompletes the scene: Aella coming in to my office and lying on my couch - she wouldn't choose the armchair, she'd lounge in such a way to display her figure- and saying something like:

"My high openness and wild sexuality has been amazing, radically improved my quality of life for 10+ years. My old conservative life was so rough.

I wish conservatives took into account the fact that people like me exist and would suffer greatly if their norms were made universal" 

I'm always interested when people say something that seems provocative on the surface but completely fall apart when inverted. Could Aella really say "I fucking hate sex work, I hate having sweaty old men with bad breath lick my nipples, and I hate all of you autists that follow me" and still make money?

No! Of course not. The incentives of content creation shape everything she says. The illusion is that she’s just thinking out loud, when actually she’s selling you something: An aesthetic. A fantasy. Sexy data science that gets off both your brain and your genitals. 

"I'm not faking it," says Aella, "I just really really love sex!" Sure, the rape fantasy fetish has nothing to do with being chained to a bed as a teenager by your parents. The freeuse fetish has nothing to do with being physically hit by your dad. No similarities here like loss of control of your own body and literal chains. Not your unconscious trying to replay the previous trauma to end in pleasure rather than pain in an attempt to rewrite the past. Doesn't remind me of Freud's recreation compulsion, which says humans recreate their trauma, compulsively, unconsciously, and often to their own detriment. Nope.

But unlike other haters, I don't actually think Aella being traumatized matters, especially if she claims she's not. If her symptoms of oversexualization don't bother her, who am I to say that she should act differently? It reminds me of that one story - a patient with OCD is always worried she has left her hair dryer on. She needs to drive home in the middle of the workday to check; it interferes with her life. The psychiatrist says, "why don't you just bring the hair dryer with you to work?" Problem solved.

Sure, for some people, it might be annoying to bring their hair dryer to work, but in this metaphor, Aella doesn't mind the hair dryer, she even claims to like it! 

Visit notes: No acute psychiatric concerns. Patient reports stable mood, good energy levels, and overall life satisfaction.

✔ Appearance: Well-groomed, appropriate dress, no signs of distress.

✔ Behavior: Cooperative, engaged, no agitation or psychomotor abnormalities.

✔ Mood/Affect: Euthymic, congruent with stated emotions.

✔ Perception: No hallucinations or perceptual disturbances.

✔ Cognition: Alert, oriented × 4 (person, place, time, situation), intact memory and concentration.

✔ Insight/Judgment: Good insight into self-care, responsible decision-making.

Okay, maybe not on that last one, given that the overt sexualization has led to stalkers, threats on her life, etc, but one could argue that's a failure of societal norms and not Aella herself.

But let's say Aella is faking it. The inversion test fails here too. Could she really say, "I don't like sex. I'm just faking it for content" without breaking her carefully curated "raw, authentic" image and losing her audience? 

My read is that Aella is a communal narcissist. She is not a delusional Elon Musk figure in the way of a stereotypical narcissist, but more of the vulnerable, intellectualized kind that hides behind self-awareness and performance. Her self-exposure becomes a tool to control her audience. She's addicted to their attention, on being seen as special.Her entire career is built on proving she is different, an exception to the rule. She is constantly reframing her own life choices as unique, experimental, high-intellectual pursuits."I’m not just a sex worker—I’m a sex worker who can intellectualize it.” “I’m not just doing drugs—I’m scientifically documenting the experience.” This is classic narcissistic differentiation—"I am not like the rest, I am singular."

The whole data science thing is a cope. Dissociation from real selfhood, replaced by a highly curated public persona.  Instead of feeling emotions, Aella analyzes them. Instead of processing experiences, she documents them. Instead of being inside her life, she stands outside it, observing and optimizing.

Aella is going to wake up one day smelly, ugly, old. It happens to all of us. She won't be hot anymore, and her hotness is what makes her special. Face it, you wouldn't be reading her content if she was ugly, or a man. Her brand will die. Probably her self-image too.